Should You Currently Be Dating?

The reality in the world that we live in today is that some women just go out on dates not really interested in a guy, but for the free meal, concert, or game ticket he’s providing. Also, you got some guys that just take a lady out with no intentions of staying in contact with her after that night, no matter how great the date went.

However, for the people that do date with a purpose of potentially meeting their soulmate, here are a few signs in my opinion that indicate you probably shouldn’t be dating someone new right now.

1. Still make your Ex a priority in your life

  • It’s natural to care for your ex well-being and not want anything bad to happen to them in life, even long after the breakup. However, you shouldn’t be making your ex a priority still, while trying to date someone new, especially when you consistently prioritize your ex over the new person you’re dating.

2. In a Bad Space Financially

  • Most people never have their money exactly how they would like for it to be at in life. However, if spending 50 dollars on a date will be a financial burden in you potentially not having something like gas money or money for lunch the upcoming week, I recommend that you take a break from dating and focus on getting yourself in a better financial space first.

3. Not Happily Single

  • When a person isn’t happily single they’re more likely to stay in a toxic relationship when they do get with someone, just to say they’re in a relationship, oppose to ending it and moving on when all the evidence shows that the other person is subtracting way more than adding in their life.

Good Time To Call?

Have you ever planned on calling someone and asked the individual in advance when will it be a good time to call? If yes, you probably asked that question so when you do call the person will have your undivided attention and you will have their full attention as well.

Yet, I’ve learned through the years that everybody doesn’t have the same definition of a “Good Time To Call”. As a result, if either of the following apply, then it’s probably not a good time to tell someone to call you back.

1. Constantly having to respond to someone else in a separate conversation

This is inconsiderate to do, especially if the person asked you in advance for a good time to call and reached out to you during that time frame. Also, whether it’s true or not, this can make the person you’re on the phone with feel like you’re not really wanting to talk to them.

2. Excessive Background Noise

Nobody wants to constantly have to repeat the same thing over to one person. However, when you’re trying to have a conversation with someone over the phone at a place like a game or at a sports bar, this will usually be the case, since there is so many other people either cheering or talking in the background.

Dating Pool

I’ve heard some people say before that the dating pool becomes smaller as you get older, which I definitely think is true, but that is a good thing in my eyes since I take that as a sign that you’re just more aware of the key qualities you’re looking for a potential partner to have.

For example, the average person in their early twenties got an idea of what they want to do in life, but not really certain, since this is usually their first time living on their own, along with making key decisions. Also, this applies for them when it comes to dating in trying to figure things out as well.

Yet, the average person in their late twenties and early thirties knows what key qualities they are looking for their potential partner to have, mainly since they have been on their own for a while in life and gone through and experience some things.

As a result, the person is now able to save themselves time and easily weed out individuals they initially talk to in person or on a dating site like Tinder, without even needing to exchange numbers or go on a date with them. Furthermore, most of us will agree, including myself that we dated someone in our past while we were younger that we wouldn’t even waste our time in talking to now.

It’s Complicated

How many of us know a person that’s been dating someone for a while and when you ask them how are things in their relationship they give you the common Facebook status response of “it’s complicated”. That particular reply has always baffled me when I hear it, mainly because I only think of three legitimate possible answers someone can respond to that question with and “it’s complicated”, has never been one of them for me.

I say that because in my opinion you’re either in an official relationship with someone, not in an official relationship anymore with that person with no plans to get back together with them, or the two of you aren’t officially together anymore, but have mutually agreed to take a break to try and figure some things out while leaving the door open to possibly get back together, which I personally never have understood or agree with why two grown adults need to take a break to know if they want to be together moving forward, but that is a whole separate topic that I’ll discuss on another day.

Furthermore, when I hear someone say “its complicated” that makes me question how good the communication is/was in their relationship because if the communication is good between the two individuals, neither party should ever be unsure where things stand, even if the two sides aren’t seeing eye to eye on something at that time.

Thus, I think that it’s vital for any couple that desires to have good communication to make time to talk on the phone every night before bed for at least 30 to 60 minutes through iPhone facetime or an app like WhatsApp, while giving each other their undivided attention no matter how hectic or busy their day might of been, because things can sometime can misinterpreted if you’re just texting always. Also, if the two people stay together I feel that it’s just as important to set aside time time each night to discuss whatever might be on your heart with the person that you’re with, even if it’s 20-30 minutes before bed or in the morning before you start your day.

Relationship Report Card

I’m sure everyone has heard someone in a relationship, especially if the person is married, complain about something they wished their significant other still did that they use to at the start of their relationship. Unfortunately, this is quite common for most people to get too comfortable in a relationship with someone that they’ve been with for a while and start to take the person for granted.

Thus, it’s very important to be consistent while you’re with someone and not to stop doing things that your significant other like, that possibly heavily contributed to the person wanting to be in a relationship with you in the first place. Furthermore, this is why it’s critical to be yourself at the start of the relationship and not try and portray who you think the person that you’re courting wants you to be, like you probably see often on social media sites like Twitter and Instagram, when that isn’t you so the person can make an inform decision on whether they want to get to know you more or decide that the two of you aren’t compatible, which you rather learn earlier than later if that is truly the case anyhow.

Last, I recommend that any couple that have possibly lost some of their relationship fire to start sitting down once a week with their significant other to give each other relationship grades of an A,B,C,D, or a F and be able to explain why. As a result, this is a way for the two of you to let each other know what you like that was done that week, along with a chance to hold each other accountable and receive constructive feedback on improvement opportunities to hopefully help your relationship continue to grow even more.