Life Advice Archives - Page 2 of 2 - AD Keys To Happiness: "Always Just One Click Away"

Excuses or Results

I grew up in the south, so you will probably hear me repeat a lot of sayings often in my blogs, one of them being “excuses or results, we can’t have both.” This is so true to me because as humans we can make excuses about anything in life that we really don’t want to do or why we’re not where we want to be at during this stage of our life, and some excuses are valid. Yet, if you think about it, excuses rarely get us to where we want to be at or what we desire to have, but results do.

For instance, if you just graduated college and having a hard time getting a job in the field that you got your degree in because you wasn’t able to get a paid internship offer during the summer of your junior/senior year, the easy thing to do is to be mad at the hiring managers and everyone who got an internship over you and play the victim card while blaming others. Also, please understand that I know sometime you will actually be a true victim in a situation, but it usually won’t change the real reason why you’re down and not happy.

Therefore, I feel the best way to handle a situation like this is to reach out to Fortune 500 companies like Home Depot, State Farm Insurance, etc and let them know that you’re willing to do an internship for free for about two or three months, because if you got the credentials and willing to work for free I guarantee someone will find a spot in that company for you.

Plus, it’s a win-win for both sides, since you’ll get the needed internship experience that is holding you back from getting the job you want and the company will get free work that they didn’t have to budget for and might even decide to bring you on-board full time afterwards. Finally, this is why I stress that it’s important to have the right mindset in life, because you will learn how to think outside the box better while staying positive to get what you want, instead of becoming a negative and bitter person.

Please feel free to provide feedback by leaving a comment below and to follow me on here and like this post before you leave if you haven’t already. Also, follow me on twitter at @adkeystohappin1 for encouraging and inspirational quotes every weekday.

Things Aren’t Always What They Seem

For some people that are single Valentine’s Day can be tough, with promotions and advertising usually starting a month in advance leading up to the date and being displayed in all types of different places, from just about every aisle at a supermarket like Walmart that the person visit often to even being on local television stations like CBS, ABC, and NBC that they watch daily.

Therefore, if a person isn’t looking at things from the right perspective or hanging around positive people on a regular, they can easily find themselves being a little down, when in reality, they probably shouldn’t feel that way at all.

For example, there are some women who will have someone they consider special in their life to spend this upcoming Valentine’s Day with, but other than on special occasions they’re not being treated like a queen or a priority by that person for the other three hundred plus days in the year. Next, we live in the social media era where people get to control the narrative for the most part of what you get to view, see, and hear when it comes to their life.

As a result, the majority of people with a significant other are just showing or telling you what they want you to know about their relationship, even if things are great the majority of the time, so definitely don’t get discourage or down about that either.

Last, there are plenty of people who are very much in love and happy as well. Thus, if you’re single just remember that everybody doesn’t meet the person that is the one for them on the same timeline. Furthermore, use this time to improve your personal and professional life daily, so when you do meet that special someone you can be in a good space and know how to love them the right way, so they will want to stay in your life, even after the honeymoon phase of initial meeting is over.

It’s Complicated

How many of us know a person that’s been dating someone for a while and when you ask them how are things in their relationship they give you the common Facebook status response of “it’s complicated”. That particular reply has always baffled me when I hear it, mainly because I only think of three legitimate possible answers someone can respond to that question with and “it’s complicated”, has never been one of them for me.

I say that because in my opinion you’re either in an official relationship with someone, not in an official relationship anymore with that person with no plans to get back together with them, or the two of you aren’t officially together anymore, but have mutually agreed to take a break to try and figure some things out while leaving the door open to possibly get back together, which I personally never have understood or agree with why two grown adults need to take a break to know if they want to be together moving forward, but that is a whole separate topic that I’ll discuss on another day.

Furthermore, when I hear someone say “its complicated” that makes me question how good the communication is/was in their relationship because if the communication is good between the two individuals, neither party should ever be unsure where things stand, even if the two sides aren’t seeing eye to eye on something at that time.

Thus, I think that it’s vital for any couple that desires to have good communication to make time to talk on the phone every night before bed for at least 30 to 60 minutes through iPhone facetime or an app like WhatsApp, while giving each other their undivided attention no matter how hectic or busy their day might of been, because things can sometime can misinterpreted if you’re just texting always. Also, if the two people stay together I feel that it’s just as important to set aside time time each night to discuss whatever might be on your heart with the person that you’re with, even if it’s 20-30 minutes before bed or in the morning before you start your day.

Unplanned Pregnancy

The topic I plan to address in the blog probably won’t help me to be real popular with most people currently in this situation. Therefore, for anybody that take offense to some things I’m about to say, I apologize in advance and just know I’m only bringing this up so people can be thinking about things like this ahead of time.

There is always a chance of an unplanned pregnancy happening when a man/woman decide to have sex together. Yet, if the guy is using protection with a known brand condom like Trojan and the woman is on some form of FDA approved birth control, the odds should be very low that both will fail during sex. Furthermore, if a woman does end up pregnant that is an indication to me that either the man/woman decided to not do their part in trying to prevent the pregnancy and left things in their sexual partner hands instead, which can turn out to be a nightmare with the wrong person, especially for a woman.

For example, if two people have a baby together and things don’t work out between them, usually the woman will have the child with her most of the time through joint custody with the father, if not full custody, unless the court has ruled that she is an unfit mother. Thus, if she has a baby with a guy who isn’t ready or willing to take on financial responsibilities that come with being a father, she can potentially end up raising the child alone, which most women don’t sign up for but end up being their reality.

Also, a woman raising a child by herself can possibly impact future relationships she might have with other men as well and let me explain. The woman might want to go on a date with a guy she just met, but if she got no family members or close friends she trust that are willing to keep her child, she might miss out on a getting to know a great guy because of not having any availability. As a result, remember ladies that a person actions always speak louder than words. Thus, if the guy not consistent, a provider, or a man of his word before the baby, it’s a very good chance he won’t be after the baby is born.

Why Are You Single?

A question I’m often asked by people who people who get to know me is why is it that I’m single, which my reply is usually that I haven’t met that special young lady that I see a long term future with as my potential wife one day and feel will make a great mother to my future child , along with the chemistry being natural and not force between us.

Yet, a lot of people unfortunately in society today end up in relationships for convenience instead of for the right reasons. A key contributing factor in my opinion for this happening is that most people sadly aren’t in a good space in life, especially financially. My criteria of an individual being in a good space in life by the way is someone that that was happily single before they even got in a romantic relationship and already living their life to the fullest and not waiting for someone else to bring them happiness.

Also, an individual that doesn’t need to be in a romantic relationship unless they can see a long term future with who they’re with. Next, my last criteria is a person that has an emergency fund of money in an insured FDIC bank and stocks/bonds with a broker like Merrill Edge or TD Ameritrade to take care of their money expenses for at least three to six months if they were to encounter a financial hardship with no income coming into the household.

Last, if you’re a person that is in a current relationship mainly for convenience and possibly not happy about where you are in life just remember that it’s never too late to start making changes in your present life to start building for where you want to be in the future.

Relationship Report Card

I’m sure everyone has heard someone in a relationship, especially if the person is married, complain about something they wished their significant other still did that they use to at the start of their relationship. Unfortunately, this is quite common for most people to get too comfortable in a relationship with someone that they’ve been with for a while and start to take the person for granted.

Thus, it’s very important to be consistent while you’re with someone and not to stop doing things that your significant other like, that possibly heavily contributed to the person wanting to be in a relationship with you in the first place. Furthermore, this is why it’s critical to be yourself at the start of the relationship and not try and portray who you think the person that you’re courting wants you to be, like you probably see often on social media sites like Twitter and Instagram, when that isn’t you so the person can make an inform decision on whether they want to get to know you more or decide that the two of you aren’t compatible, which you rather learn earlier than later if that is truly the case anyhow.

Last, I recommend that any couple that have possibly lost some of their relationship fire to start sitting down once a week with their significant other to give each other relationship grades of an A,B,C,D, or a F and be able to explain why. As a result, this is a way for the two of you to let each other know what you like that was done that week, along with a chance to hold each other accountable and receive constructive feedback on improvement opportunities to hopefully help your relationship continue to grow even more.

Asset or a Liability

I’m a firm believer that the people we interact with daily in our lives, even on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are either an asset or a liability to us. Therefore, if given the option of the two, I’m sure most people will agree with me that they prefer the person that they view as an asset. Yet, a lot of people unfortunately have friends and family members that they’re very close with, along with a significant other that is a liability to them.

One key sign that a friend or family member is a liability to you is if you find yourself having to help them with something on a regular, but they’re hardly ever available or make you a priority when you need them just for something small to help with. Thus, you probably need to love them from a distance a little while and stop doing most of the things, if not all, that you do for them often until they learn to appreciate it, especially if you’re addressed the issue multiple times with them with no change behavior already.

Furthermore, a key sign that your significant other is a liability is if you find yourself less happy and more stress because of what they do or don’t on a regular, than you was before they came into your life. Also, if you was doing better before they came into your life, especially financially, that is a red flag that the person is a liability. As a result, I highly recommend that you reevaluate your relationship with a significant other under either one or both of these circumstances.

Don’t Assume Anything

One of the key things I love in life, which makes the world great in my opinion, is that everyone doesn’t like the same things or think alike. Yet, I’ve discovered on so many separate occasions that a number of disagreements between close family members or friends stems from one side having the mindset that they shouldn’t have to tell the person they have an issue with what is wrong and just assume the other individual should just know.

However, that is definitely not the type of attitude you want to have and I’m about to explain why. One of my golden rules in life is to “Treat others how I want to be treated” Therefore, just like I’m hoping you wouldn’t want someone that you care about to have an issue with you and not let you know about it, why would you want to do that to another person?

Also, don’t go telling other people about the issue you have with an individual on social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter when you haven’t taken the time to address the issue with the source, especially if you know where they live to meet with them in person to talk or have the person number to give them a call about it. I will ask the question once again, which is ” Do you want somebody to do that to you?”

Last, it’s important to have a discussion with the individual that you’re mad or disappointed in with the intent to listen and understand instead of listening to reply because the two of you might of been looking at things from different perspectives, where neither one of you is actually right or wrong and the other person honestly might not of had any clue of what they did before you told them.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

As humans we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Yet, some of us are able to discover and recognize key strengths we possess quicker than others in life.

For example, I’ve always been a guy that male and female of mines have often told me about how they admire how I’m always in a positive mood and how they love my infectious personality, while being a friend they don’t mind coming to and value my opinions on relationship and life advise.

Therefore, when one of my friends initially brought up the idea about me starting a blog I just laughed at the idea. However, when even more people randomly started recommending that I create one that I had given advise to, I decided to finally take the idea serious so I can try and impact even more people daily lives in a positive way.

As a result, I plan to post a weekly blog moving moving forward on my keys to happiness I believe in and live by daily, related to topics on love, true friendship, family, and life in general that I hope everyone will find insightful and helpful in unlocking your true happiness if you haven’t found it just yet.