Allow, Accept, and Tolerate

When it comes to relationships people do what we allow, accept, and tolerate from them. As a result, it’s important to have consequences to actions, so they have an incentive to do the right thing. Furthermore, if a person isn’t willing to do right then you should consider helping them to appreciate your absence.

Cheating Partner

  • If you have a partner that has cheated on you multiple times there is a good chance that person doesn’t respect you. However, the root cause of that disrespect may arise from the individual not being afraid of you leaving them. Thus, you got to stop giving unlimited loyalty to them when they consistently give you limited loyalty in return.

Money Tree To Friends/Family

  • A person shouldn’t need to borrow money from you on a consistent basis, unless they are living out of their budget or don’t have one. In either case, their bad planning should not be your emergency. Therefore, you want to say NO to them sometime, even if you do have the extra money to give so you don’t handicap and make them think it’s alright to not be responsible and just do whatever they want with their money knowing you will always be there to bail them out.

What is something that you have allowed, accepted, or tolerated from another individual in the past that you wished you never did?

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Personal Growth

It’s important in life to have people in your inner circle that care about you. Yet, it’s key to have people that will not just tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear as well.

In order to grow, a person has to come out of their comfort zone and be open to constructive criticism. However, it won’t take place if you just surround yourself with people that just tell you what you want to hear always.

As a result, you got to be around some individuals that know more than you and got no issue in calling you out when needed on a consistent basis.

What is something in your personal or professional life that you achieved by coming out of your comfort zone?

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Gambling On Potential

I hear people often complain about flaws of their partner that he/she was aware of early on when they first started dating. There are some things you might can have an influence on your partner to change that isn’t anything major. However, there are other things I wouldn’t advise gambling on potential with.

Don’t Want To Work

  • When your partner can’t seem to ever keep a steady job for whatever reason in the the years that you’ve known him/her, it wouldn’t be wise to get a new apartment of house with them and be dependent on their income every month.

Not Wanting Kids

  • If the person you’re dating has made it clear to you that they don’t want kids ever and having a child one day is a big priority for you, it’s probably best to end things over potentially investing 4-5 years in the relationship to not even change their mind.

What are some other things that you wouldn’t want to gamble on investing years with a partner on for them to never change?

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Respecting Your Partner Part II

I try and see things from more than one perspective always, along with being objective. As a result, I’m addressing men being disrespectful to their woman this week in this two part series.

Never Willing To Compromise

  • Some guys refuse to ever compromise, even though any successful relationship will evolve it happening sometime by both partners. Therefore, if it’s something that your lady ask you to do, be willing to put her first and oblige sometime.

Treating Your Lady Like Your Maid

  • Just because you got a lady that doesn’t mind and take pride in doing most of the household chores, you shouldn’t take advantage of her kindness by treating her like your personal maid. For instance, instead of being lazy and leaving your dirty clothes right next to the hamper, go ahead and put your clothes in it and not leave it as a task for her to do.

What are some other situations you can recall or heard about, that a man disrespected his lady by doing?

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Respecting Your Partner Part I

If you want respect in life, you got to be willing to give that same amount of respect to another individual. Some women struggle with this concept as much as men. Therefore, I’ll provided some examples below of women belittling their man and plan to address men doing the same to their woman next week.

Talking To A Grown Man Like He’s Your Child

  • Just like you don’t talk to an adult like you would a baby, you shouldn’t talk to a grown man like he’s your child and emasculate him, especially in front of his friends and family, even if he’s easy going and never stands up for himself. Furthermore, you should look at your man as your equal and not as you being his superior.

Reminding Him On Regular That You Make Way More Money

  • Any self respecting and hard working man is not going to let you disrespect him on a regular, if ever for that matter, by constantly demeaning him just because you might make significantly more money than he does. Also, the only man that a woman might keep around for a while with that type of attitude is a lazy man with no self respect.

What are some other situations you can recall or heard about, which a lady belittle her man?

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Unrealistic Relationship Goals

A conversation to set clear expectations of what you’re looking for should take place early on when you first start to talk to a person so the two of you can be on the same page. Yet, unrealistic goals can end a potential relationship before it even starts.

Relationship Ultimatum One Week After Talking

  • It’s one thing to give a person an ultimatum to decide whether they want to be in an exclusive relationship with you when the two of you been talking on a regular for about 3 months. However, it’s unrealistic to give an ultimatum in less than a week, when the person is likely to still be trying know you more, since they haven’t spent much time around you.

Demands To Become A Top Priority Almost Overnight In Their Life

  • If an individual wants to know more about you, they should be able to find a way to set aside some time for you, no matter how busy they might be. Still, you can’t expect everyone you initially meet to make it a priority overnight for their life to evolve around you. I say that because most people got key friends and family they have been knowing for years already before you entered the picture.

What are some other unrealistic goals that you feel some people set when they first start talking to someone?

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Proper Context

Be careful in taking relationship advice from an expert always, especially when he/she doesn’t know specific details about your situation. This is important for them to know so they can provide guidance in the proper context. Thus, listed below are two examples of the importance of this.

“If a man cheats, he doesn’t really care about you”

  • I want to first say I don’t condone a person cheating in a relationship ever. Yet, just because a person cheated doesn’t always mean they don’t care about you. It does mean that they’re human and made a mistake though. However, if the person has cheated multiple times, it’s a high probability they don’t care, since the same mistake shouldn’t be made over and over.

“Leave him if he refuses to stop going to the strip club”

  • It’s important to have key beliefs and values in life and not be willing to make exceptions to certain things. However, if your man going to the strip club isn’t a deal breaker, but just something you don’t like and he makes you feel like a queen and special most of the time you’re around or talking to him, I wouldn’t advise a woman to leave solely because of that.

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It’s Ok To Say NO!

It’s natural when you love someone to want to be there for them always, especially when they need you. However, it’s important to be honest and able to tell people that we love NO sometime when we need to.

Repeat Past Mistakes On A Regular

  • If an individual starts to come to you on a regular for help on the exact thing you’ve previously bailed them out on, then it’s probably time to say NO, since they’re clearly not learning from past lessons and repeating the same mistakes.

Feeling Of Entitlement

  • When a person starts to tell you what you should do for them, instead of asking, they feel entitle. Therefore, it’s important to say NO to remind the individual that things you do for them are out of love, but definitely not from obligation.

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Relationship Report Card

I’m sure everyone has heard someone in a relationship, especially if the person is married, complain about something they wished their significant other still did that they use to at the start of their relationship. Unfortunately, this is quite common for most people to get too comfortable in a relationship with someone that they’ve been with for a while and start to take the person for granted.

Thus, it’s very important to be consistent while you’re with someone and not to stop doing things that your significant other like, that possibly heavily contributed to the person wanting to be in a relationship with you in the first place. Furthermore, this is why it’s critical to be yourself at the start of the relationship and not try and portray who you think the person that you’re courting wants you to be, like you probably see often on social media sites like Twitter and Instagram, when that isn’t you so the person can make an inform decision on whether they want to get to know you more or decide that the two of you aren’t compatible, which you rather learn earlier than later if that is truly the case anyhow.

Last, I recommend that any couple that have possibly lost some of their relationship fire to start sitting down once a week with their significant other to give each other relationship grades of an A,B,C,D, or a F and be able to explain why. As a result, this is a way for the two of you to let each other know what you like that was done that week, along with a chance to hold each other accountable and receive constructive feedback on improvement opportunities to hopefully help your relationship continue to grow even more.

Please feel free to provide feedback by leaving a comment below and to follow me on here and like this post before you leave if you haven’t already. Also, follow me on twitter at @adkeystohappin1 for encouraging and inspirational quotes every weekday.