Can Choose Friends, Not Family

We can choose our friends in life but we can’t choose family. Thus, it’s important for us to try and treat family members as we do with our friends, by loving them for their good qualities and accepting them for their imperfections.

Be Aware Of Their Shortcomings

Nobody is perfect, why as humans, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, if you got somebody you love that’s known to not be on time hardly for anything, it’s best to not depend on that person for something like dropping you off at the airport for a schedule flight if you can help it.

Love From A Distance When Needed

Everybody that we love don’t know how to deal with personal issues they might be going through, which can impact how they treat us. Furthermore, some people we love don’t know how to provide us with words of encouragement when we open up to them and discuss things we’re dealing with.

As a result, it’s important to know when to distance ourselves from love ones when they start to impact us in a negative way consistently from where we’re trying to go in life, as we should do with friends as well.

To Work Or Not To Work?

Some women believe in their man being the only one between the two of them that works in the household. Furthermore, some guys don’t believe in their woman working as well. However, for women that do seek a man that pays all the bills I’ll like for them to be aware of the following:

1. Some men will treat you more like their child than his equal

  • There are always exceptions to the rule in any situation. Yet, when it’s only one person paying the bills in a relationship that person usually will have the only and final say in any key household decisions.

2. Can give the guy control over you in the relationship

  • Some men like to take care of all the bills because it gives them more control. For instance, some guys require their lady to consult with them first before taking any money out of their joint bank account(s) that might be needed, even if it was just $40 dollars.

3. Can possibly make the guy feel more incline to do whatever he desires

  • Most men aren’t able to have their lady not work these days, even if he didn’t want her to. Therefore, some guys that can afford it tend to do whatever they want in the relationship and never willing to even meet their partner half way sometime, mainly because they know the lady is dependent on them and love the lifestyle that they provide so much that’s she won’t be quick to leave, even if she’s unhappy.

He’s Not That Into You

Last week I covered some key signs for a man to be aware of when a woman isn’t really interested in being in an exclusive romantic relationship with him. Therefore, I’ll be covering key red flags below for a lady to be on the lookout for this week when it comes to men.

1. Shows no initiative to plan an actual date within a week

  • The average man, including myself, will want to see a woman again within a week if he has just started talking with her and find her physically attracted, unless he had a prior engagement already.

2. Consistently only text or call you first late at night

  • This is a clear sign that the guy is just looking to try and come over and have sex when he consistently only randomly calls or text first late at night. Also, this shows a lack of respect by him towards the lady as well.

3. Consistently doesn’t text or call you first just to say hi

  • When a guy is really interested in you he will consistently call or text you randomly sometime as well just to see how your day is going and to just check up on you like you do him. Thus, if he hardly ever initiates a conversation with you then that means he’s not that into you.

She’s Not That Into You

When it comes to dating everybody doesn’t recognize some key signs that someone isn’t really interested or just like them only as a friend. Therefore, I touch on some red flags for a man to be aware in this blog and I’ll cover part two for ladies next week.

1. Text you back a day or more later, if at all on a regular

We all can get busy and forget or think that we texted someone back, especially in the middle of a workday. However, if a lady consistently does this, she isn’t that interested in you and probably just texting back to be nice.

2. Only responds back to you consistently when it’s related to something she wants

This kind of relates to number one but if a lady never seem to forget to respond or be too busy to talk when it comes to her trying to get something from you, but always too busy otherwise, this is an indication that she isn’t interested and clearly trying to use you as well.

3. Never able to give you an exact date or time when she is free to go on a date

If Beyonce was single and you asked her out on a date, she could tell when she is free, even if it was three weeks later, if she was truly interested in trying to go out with you.

As a result, if you have tried to take a lady out on a date on more than one random occasion and she never gets back to you with a date or time she’s free, it’s best to cut your losses and leave her alone because she’s showing through her actions or lack there of, she doesn’t want to go out with you.

Should You Currently Be Dating?

The reality in the world that we live in today is that some women just go out on dates not really interested in a guy, but for the free meal, concert, or game ticket he’s providing. Also, you got some guys that just take a lady out with no intentions of staying in contact with her after that night, no matter how great the date went.

However, for the people that do date with a purpose of potentially meeting their soulmate, here are a few signs in my opinion that indicate you probably shouldn’t be dating someone new right now.

1. Still make your Ex a priority in your life

  • It’s natural to care for your ex well-being and not want anything bad to happen to them in life, even long after the breakup. However, you shouldn’t be making your ex a priority still, while trying to date someone new, especially when you consistently prioritize your ex over the new person you’re dating.

2. In a Bad Space Financially

  • Most people never have their money exactly how they would like for it to be at in life. However, if spending 50 dollars on a date will be a financial burden in you potentially not having something like gas money or money for lunch the upcoming week, I recommend that you take a break from dating and focus on getting yourself in a better financial space first.

3. Not Happily Single

  • When a person isn’t happily single they’re more likely to stay in a toxic relationship when they do get with someone, just to say they’re in a relationship, oppose to ending it and moving on when all the evidence shows that the other person is subtracting way more than adding in their life.

Dating Pool

I’ve heard some people say before that the dating pool becomes smaller as you get older, which I definitely think is true, but that is a good thing in my eyes since I take that as a sign that you’re just more aware of the key qualities you’re looking for a potential partner to have.

For example, the average person in their early twenties got an idea of what they want to do in life, but not really certain, since this is usually their first time living on their own, along with making key decisions. Also, this applies for them when it comes to dating in trying to figure things out as well.

Yet, the average person in their late twenties and early thirties knows what key qualities they are looking for their potential partner to have, mainly since they have been on their own for a while in life and gone through and experience some things.

As a result, the person is now able to save themselves time and easily weed out individuals they initially talk to in person or on a dating site like Tinder, without even needing to exchange numbers or go on a date with them. Furthermore, most of us will agree, including myself that we dated someone in our past while we were younger that we wouldn’t even waste our time in talking to now.

Things Aren’t Always What They Seem

For some people that are single Valentine’s Day can be tough, with promotions and advertising usually starting a month in advance leading up to the date and being displayed in all types of different places, from just about every aisle at a supermarket like Walmart that the person visit often to even being on local television stations like CBS, ABC, and NBC that they watch daily.

Therefore, if a person isn’t looking at things from the right perspective or hanging around positive people on a regular, they can easily find themselves being a little down, when in reality, they probably shouldn’t feel that way at all.

For example, there are some women who will have someone they consider special in their life to spend this upcoming Valentine’s Day with, but other than on special occasions they’re not being treated like a queen or a priority by that person for the other three hundred plus days in the year. Next, we live in the social media era where people get to control the narrative for the most part of what you get to view, see, and hear when it comes to their life.

As a result, the majority of people with a significant other are just showing or telling you what they want you to know about their relationship, even if things are great the majority of the time, so definitely don’t get discourage or down about that either.

Last, there are plenty of people who are very much in love and happy as well. Thus, if you’re single just remember that everybody doesn’t meet the person that is the one for them on the same timeline. Furthermore, use this time to improve your personal and professional life daily, so when you do meet that special someone you can be in a good space and know how to love them the right way, so they will want to stay in your life, even after the honeymoon phase of initial meeting is over….

It’s Complicated

How many of us know a person that’s been dating someone for a while and when you ask them how are things in their relationship they give you the common Facebook status response of “it’s complicated”. That particular reply has always baffled me when I hear it, mainly because I only think of three legitimate possible answers someone can respond to that question with and “it’s complicated”, has never been one of them for me.

I say that because in my opinion you’re either in an official relationship with someone, not in an official relationship anymore with that person with no plans to get back together with them, or the two of you aren’t officially together anymore, but have mutually agreed to take a break to try and figure some things out while leaving the door open to possibly get back together, which I personally never have understood or agree with why two grown adults need to take a break to know if they want to be together moving forward, but that is a whole separate topic that I’ll discuss on another day.

Furthermore, when I hear someone say “its complicated” that makes me question how good the communication is/was in their relationship because if the communication is good between the two individuals, neither party should ever be unsure where things stand, even if the two sides aren’t seeing eye to eye on something at that time.

Thus, I think that it’s vital for any couple that desires to have good communication to make time to talk on the phone every night before bed for at least 30 to 60 minutes through iPhone facetime or an app like WhatsApp, while giving each other their undivided attention no matter how hectic or busy their day might of been, because things can sometime can misinterpreted if you’re just texting always. Also, if the two people stay together I feel that it’s just as important to set aside time time each night to discuss whatever might be on your heart with the person that you’re with, even if it’s 20-30 minutes before bed or in the morning before you start your day.

Why Are You Single?

A question I’m often asked by people who people who get to know me is why is it that I’m single, which my reply is usually that I haven’t met that special young lady that I see a long term future with as my potential wife one day and feel will make a great mother to my future child , along with the chemistry being natural and not force between us.

Yet, a lot of people unfortunately in society today end up in relationships for convenience instead of for the right reasons. A key contributing factor in my opinion for this happening is that most people sadly aren’t in a good space in life, especially financially. My criteria of an individual being in a good space in life by the way is someone that that was happily single before they even got in a romantic relationship and already living their life to the fullest and not waiting for someone else to bring them happiness.

Also, an individual that doesn’t need to be in a romantic relationship unless they can see a long term future with who they’re with. Next, my last criteria is a person that has an emergency fund of money in an insured FDIC bank and stocks/bonds with a broker like Merrill Edge or TD Ameritrade to take care of their money expenses for at least three to six months if they were to encounter a financial hardship with no income coming into the household.

Last, if you’re a person that is in a current relationship mainly for convenience and possibly not happy about where you are in life just remember that it’s never too late to start making changes in your present life to start building for where you want to be in the future.

Relationship Report Card

I’m sure everyone has heard someone in a relationship, especially if the person is married, complain about something they wished their significant other still did that they use to at the start of their relationship. Unfortunately, this is quite common for most people to get too comfortable in a relationship with someone that they’ve been with for a while and start to take the person for granted.

Thus, it’s very important to be consistent while you’re with someone and not to stop doing things that your significant other like, that possibly heavily contributed to the person wanting to be in a relationship with you in the first place. Furthermore, this is why it’s critical to be yourself at the start of the relationship and not try and portray who you think the person that you’re courting wants you to be, like you probably see often on social media sites like Twitter and Instagram, when that isn’t you so the person can make an inform decision on whether they want to get to know you more or decide that the two of you aren’t compatible, which you rather learn earlier than later if that is truly the case anyhow.

Last, I recommend that any couple that have possibly lost some of their relationship fire to start sitting down once a week with their significant other to give each other relationship grades of an A,B,C,D, or a F and be able to explain why. As a result, this is a way for the two of you to let each other know what you like that was done that week, along with a chance to hold each other accountable and receive constructive feedback on improvement opportunities to hopefully help your relationship continue to grow even more.